Out of Reach
by Hitsuzen Nakagauchi
Summary: For her, for her feelings and for her love for him...she realized too late that Ryousuke Takashi is indeed out of reach...


---

Some time ago, I thought he was hard to reach...

Yeah, I thought that all the time...

Well, more like out of reach...

Who wouldn't't thought that way when you happen to get attracted to Project D's leader, Ryousuke Takahashi?

The team's well respected leader, data analyst and adviser...

My boyfriend.

But also my heart breaker.

Its hard to imagine that the puffing cigarette smoker and soon to be doctor got attracted or more like blinded to a nothing but ordinary girl?

The famous Akagi's White Comet is committed to an ordinary girl who has nothing to be proud of except she earned her investments through sheer hard work?

But...

It is also hard to believe that what they say behind their hands are true...

That Ryousuke Takahashi is a certified heart breaker...

---

Keisuke told me that his _Aniki_ is just busy and is really not the type of person you'll see displaying affection, lest to his girlfriend in public of all scream of discretion. I actually understood that and has no complains about it since I, too, acquires public discretion whatever the occasion was. I didn't complained and always complied like any good girlfriend.

He shows surprising gestures whenever we're alone or he finds it in his system to comfort me when his routine and calculated life happens to notice that I am just around, even though not speaking, is obviously requiring TLC from him as a boyfriend. It didn't troubled me when he does that whenever he finds time...but it makes me wary as time pass by and slowly planting seeds of doubts to whatever motive did he have when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I ignored the growing doubts and longings just like any good girlfriend will do.

Any good girlfriend will do. Sensibility is not yet questioned.

Then I started to fear that I really don't have his heart.

That all I have is just him. Just Ryousuke Takahashi. Without his heart.

I know I feel like an idiot already. Doubting. Fearing.

---

I kept on vying for his heart against the Red suns. Against racing. Against Project D. That every time I think of rebelling, he would just give me those once in a blue moon hugs and butterfly kisses on my cheek and forehead. Then I will melt down like a puddle of chocolate and silently forgive him.

He really knows what to do. Effortlessly and always in time. As if he's been reading my mind ahead. To pleasure my womanish whim. Placate. To avoid risking useless arguments...

And that had left a question on my mind...

Was I ever loved by you?

---

Flowers, chocolates, a teddy bear. Always comes in deliveries or with Keisuke instead. Never personal, never with him. He note with that he's busy and can't make so he asked Keisuke to run this errand for him. Errand. So I was an errand for him. I laughed bitterly at that as I can't help the surge of pain slashing me apart. Keisuke was so frantic when he saw me cry. He placed a gentle hand on my cheek and wiped the tears away.

"I am sorry if you feel bad about this instead," Keisuke said in a mild tone, "But do understand he needs your understanding right now."

I nodded my head and flashed him a supposed to be I-understand-really smile. He knows I was trying hard to fake it and didn't buy the crap.

I learned that it was a fault to give your heart and have it bruised all over again without trying to mend it.

That it was a sin to love too much.

---

Then the time came where I catch myself from despair...

That if I continue this charade I could drown from staying here

So I kept myself busy everyday...

University, work, family...

Meeting friends from afar and near...

Meet up in crash course with Keisuke and even Takumi...

To match the seldom chances of Ryousuke's time of going out with me

Of giving me a time alone with him...

Getting busy so that it would lessen the pain of knowing the truth that kept it's banging sound on my closed door...

That Ryousuke Takahashi is really out of my reach...

---

The fear of truth hit me home...

Ryousuke made a confession that ripped me apart...

From my soul...

From the world of sensibility and sheer understanding...

I was frozen with disbelief...

He never gave his heart in my reach...

Never been, never was...

Though he said he tried many times...

But it just didn't got right...

He just couldn't't find it in his heart to give even a little space for me...

It hurts. Though anger swells in my heart, it still hurts.

My heart was in pain and it really hurts so much.

But...

There's one thing I learned from being with him...

Pride...nursing it so that you can stand firm on your ground.

Strong, brave and fearless...

I told myself before tears threatens to spill out, "There's a life out there for me..."

---

And yes, I proved some things are really certain...

One is that Ryousuke Takahashi, whatever happens, it always out of reach.

Out of _my_ reach.

Two is that since I let myself be swept away by him, I forgot that I made a fool of myself...

Three, I might not had realized that we were never meant to be...

Never was and never will...

Because, there's someone who was destined for me...

He drives a yellow Mazda RX type-R

Has blonde hair and brown eyes

Is now Akagi Red suns' and Project D's leader

That even though he's grouchy, grumpy and snorting at my exceptional whims, he never ignores the importance of giving love to please his wife

That his wife is more than racing and Project D...

More than anything he could buy or possess in this world...

His name is Keisuke Takahashi...

My husband.

And my heart mender, healer and re-constructor...

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a/n: gomen for this came very uncalled off. its a drabble so aside from proofreading the spellings, i didn't reedit anything else. first Initial D fic and wrote it at 12 midnight --XD-- just a bit cranky since i am meeting some sort of electrical deadline --XD-- so hope you like it...i know i need still a lot of practicing and learning so any suggestive opinions/comments are very much welcome...free to tell me.

"out of reach" is a song sung by Gabrielle...Initial D characters are properties of the creator itself so no suing on my part ne? dedicated to Fay Mishima who is getting better from her sickness...take care sis!


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